Why ‘Slow Parenting’ May Be the Key For Overwhelmed Parents

Reviewed by Dr. Amy Marschall, PsyD

Key Takeaways

• These days, kids are so over-scheduled, it seems that they have no down time for downtime or play.

• Families that feel that the chaos of keeping track of a packed schedule is getting to them might try adopting slow parenting, even if its a temporary change.

• When kids and parents are burned out and exhausted, sleep, mental health, and overall wellness suffers.

Between ever-evolving technology, social media influence, and a society that thrives on competition and instant gratification, parents these days are stressed. That’s where slow parenting comes in. Slow parenting emphasizes the importance of stepping back from the fast-paced world of modern parenting and instead focusing on spending meaningful time with your kids. There’s no need to pack their days with activities, sports, and social events to help them thrive—sometimes, all you need are the little moments when you can relax, connect, and appreciate each other’s company.

A slow parenting approach is not about doing less or being hands-off—it’s about being more present and mindful while remembering that childhood is not a competition or a race, but it is fleeting. Those moments you share with your kids should be treated as precious. Here, we look at what slow parenting entails, the pros and cons, and how to be a slow parent in an increasingly fast-paced society.

What is Slow Parenting?

Slow parenting is a parenting style that encourages parents to take a break from the constant need to plan outings and extracurricular activities. The idea is that without a packed schedule, kids have more time to play, explore, and develop at their own pace. And for parents, its an opportunity to take a break from the high-speed, competitive world of modern parenting, which demands more and more of parents’ time and energy.

At its core, the slow parenting style emphasizes quality over quantity—how your time is spent is more important than the number of activities you participate in.

“You can just take a step back, follow [your child’s] lead, and [let them] show you what they’re really interested in and what they’re curious about,” says Liz Conradt, Ph.D., a clinical and developmental psychologist and Associate Professor of Pediatrics at Duke University.

Stepping back and following your child’s natural curiosity can help reduce parental stress and unnecessary burnout. Slow parenting prioritizes the joyful, unhurried moments that allow children to thrive. After all, childhood should be savored—not rushed.

Origins of the term slow parenting

The concept was first introduced by Canadian author Carl Honoré in his 2009 book, “Under Pressure: Rescuing Our Children from the Culture of Hyper-Parenting.”

In that book, Honoré explains that slow parents find a balance in family life, giving their children plenty of time and space to explore and grow at their own speed. They keep a manageable schedule that includes plenty of downtime to relax and connect. Ultimately, slow parenting is about letting kids figure out who they are, rather than shaping them into what parents (or society) think they should be.

Slow Parenting Characteristics

These are some of the most common traits of slow parents:

• They are patient regarding their children’s interests, avoiding the urge to rush them into activities or sports. “A lot of times kids will say, ‘I want to do this,’ or ‘I don’t want to do that,’ [so] then you let them develop their own passions and interests,” says Dr. Conradt.

• They appreciate quality time with their kids—even if that means spending more time at home.

• They are flexible and open to changing plans or adjusting schedules based on their children’s needs, rather than sticking to a rigid routine—perhaps even sharing some characteristics with Type B parents.

• They believe childhood is not a competition, focusing instead on their children’s well-being and personal growth rather than comparing them to their peers.

• They prioritize strengthening the parent-child bond over constantly trying to schedule activities to keep them busy.

• They don’t feel the need to keep their kids busy all the time—relaxation and downtime are a priority.

• Reducing the pressure to enroll children in numerous extracurricular activities (sports, music lessons, dance, and so on) unless they express a clear interest.

• Giving kids the opportunity to entertain themselves and play independently, rather than immediately coming up with a fun activity for them. This is good opportunity to integrate more benign neglect into your parenting style.

• Encouraging unstructured play, such as independent or pretend play, going on a nature walk, or exploring the backyard.

• Sitting down for family meals without distractions or screens, focusing on the experience of eating together, talking, and sharing about the day.

• Taking regular breaks from devices and social media and replacing that time with family activities such as board games or trivia questions, cooking together, or simply hanging out.

Examples of Slow Parenting

Pros of Slow Parenting

Slow parenting can be incredibly beneficial if you’re looking for an effective way to prevent burnout—for both you and the kids.

“I think slow parenting is really wonderful because it allows kids to take the lead,” says Dr. Conradt. “It’s really amazing what happens when you can, as a parent, release yourself from the pressure of constantly entertaining your kids.”

Here are more pros to slow parenting:

• When you take a step back from a fast-paced, over-scheduled lifestyle, you can focus on what really matters: spending quality time together and letting your kids enjoy their childhood.

• Relieving the pressure to keep up busy schedules with other families can decrease parental anxiety and the unnecessary urge to be the perfect parent.

• When you stand back and allow your kids (no matter their age) to pick and choose activities and experiences they want to pursue, it naturally strengthens the parent-child relationship. “The children feel really supported, heard, and understood, and feel really confident when they can take the lead,” explains Dr. Conradt.

Slow Parenting Is Not Lazy Parenting

It’s important to point out that slow parenting is about becoming an uninvolved parent or giving up on any type of structure or routine in your kids’ lives—it’s about being more intentional with your time and energy. Instead of trying to keep up with a jam-packed schedule, slow parents prioritize one-on-one time with their kids, where they feel connected to their thoughts and feelings, or engage in meaningful conversation that makes their kids feel valued and loved. They are present and nurturing, but at the same time allow their kids the space to grow at their own pace.

Cons of Slow Parenting

As with any parenting style, slow parenting isn’t for everyone. While it offers plenty of benefits, some may feel the approach is too relaxed or unstructured. For many parents, measurable success is essential—and that’s okay! If a family values a competitive spirit and material achievement (like awards in sports and top-notch grades), slow parenting might not be the answer.

Slow parenting is harder for working parents

Slow parenting can also be challenging for parents with busy careers, so if you’re a working parent eager to try out this parenting style, take it easy on yourself if your family has trouble adjusting. Working parents may not be able to carve out the time needed for things like unstructured play or simply enjoying downtime with their kids. The idea of slowing down and focusing on fewer activities can clash with a busy routine that is geared toward productivity and efficiency. It certainly takes a switch in mindset to go from always on the move to prioritizing leisure time.

Pressure from social media doesn’t help either

Of course, one of the most common reasons slow parenting may be challenging for some is because of the pressure parents feel to always do and give more to their kids—whether that’s entertainment or keeping them active. The rise in social media has made it inevitable for parents to compare themselves to others, and research shows that it leads to more stress and negative emotions.

“We talk about social media effects on the kids, but the parents [feel it] too,” says Dr. Conradt. “They feel the pressure to enroll their kids in this and that because they see other parents doing it.”

” “Every parent is wondering, ‘Am I doing the right thing?’ And then you hear about things other parents and children are doing, and you wonder, ‘Should I be doing that?’” says Dr. Conradt. “So the central premise [of slow parenting] is to just follow what your children want to do, and then, in turn, they will find their passions and thrive and develop that way.””

Liz Conradt, Ph.D., a clinical and developmental psychologist and Associate Professor of Pediatrics at Duke University.

Tips for Practicing Slow Parenting

Implementing slow parenting doesn’t necessarily mean cutting out all extracurricular activities from your child’s life. Instead, try implementing it in simple ways to help ease any unnecessary stress:

• Be present whenever possible. When you’re with your kids, try putting away the screens and devices and focus on enjoying and being in the moment with them.

• Embrace boredom. When your kid hits you with “I’m bored,” it’s okay not to come up with a solution immediately. Encourage unstructured play (independent play without constant guidance), which helps foster creativity and independence. (It may come with a few groans, but you’ll both be surprised at how well they can come up with a new game on the fly.

• Enjoy the outdoors more often. “I think the outdoors is the best playground for kids, and they will find things that they’re curious about and they’re interested in,” says Dr. Conradt. The park, backyard, beach, or other safe outdoor areas are great for implementing unstructured play.

• Let kids explore at their own pace. Your child may show promising soccer skills, but it doesn’t mean they’re ready to join a team just yet. Avoid pressuring them into activities or lessons unless they’re genuinely interested and excited to try.

• Focus on experiences over possessions. Instead of constantly buying material possessions for your kids, consider spending time together and creating memories through meaningful experiences.

• Try to let go of societal pressure. It’s easier said than done, of course—but ignoring pressure to keep your kids busy is a crucial part of slow parenting. This may mean cutting down time spent on social media or turning to your partner, friends, or family if you need parenting advice.

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